This morning I got up, showered, dressed in "nice" (i.e., not yoga pants or sweats) attire, did my hair and put on make-up. I looked GREAT! I felt great!
Job interview? Nope. Lunch date with my husband? Negative. I was going to read "Smile, Mike" to my son's first grade class. How sad is that? I felt so .... pretty...and human. I was actually (for once) looking forward to my every-other-Thursday reading gig.
I began to reflect on this a bit. Had I really "let myself go" over the past 8 weeks to the point that putting on make-up and "real" clothes was so energizing? I used to work in offices where sweatpants and the like was strictly forbidden, by a sense of personal pride even more so than by dress code. After all, I was A Manager...A Manager always had to look put-together. A Manager was supposed to be an example of professional grooming and comportment to her staff. I have always enjoyed make-up and stylish clothes - especially after losing 60+ lbs last year - so I guess it is no surprise that going from A Manager to housewife (I hate that word) is a bit difficult to stomach at times. Granted, it makes zero sense for me to put on heels and dress slacks to clean the toilets or fold laundry. I'm not that delusional (yet). But sweats all day, every day? Really?
You may, gentle reader, suggest "You should dress up and go to lunch with your friends". Well, that brings me to yet another realization of the past 8 weeks: No one wants to remain friends once you're no longer in the office with them. When I left my last position at a media company, everyone said "Oh, we will stay in touch...I promise! We will meet for lunch, or after work for drinks...or, even better, a girl's night out!" Has that happened? Not once. I have emailed and called my "work friends" a few times, trying to set up lunch or a girl's night out...and have gotten pretty much just silence.
Out of sight, out of mind.
So it seems that going from "career woman" to "no career woman" means that you move onto an island of social isolation from your peers. My husband is great. He takes me out to restaurants or to the movies, and gives me an excuse to "pretty up" for him...which I do enjoy doing! But where are all my "girlfriends" who promised to stay in touch - the ones who sighed wistfully and said "You're going to be a stay-at-home mom? That's so awesome!" I know most of them are working full-time (and some even have more than one job), taking care of kids, etc...but they always found time to chat for a few minutes, before I quit work.
It is just a bit sad. So much for that whole "network" that I spent years building.
Lesson of the Week: Giving up your career means you will be socially isolated. Wasting time trying to connect with people who don't want to connect is time you could've spent cleaning or shaving your legs.
I was just thinking this same thing & I'm NOT staying home. Yeah, I talk to people at my new job, but I'm not likely to hang out with any of them after work.
ReplyDeleteI always hate that "we'll stay in touch" thing because 90% of the time it's bullshit.
That said. I'm all isolated too...scheduling a night (or day) out is a bitch with the kids, but I'm willing to give it a shot if you want to get together. Let me know!